Sorry for using Lindsay Lohan's song for my title but if you know what the song's all about, you might as well get the idea of what I'm about to rant on.
I honestly have a vague idea on why I'm doing what I'm doing. I try to put my heart into it but failure can be so hurting. It hurts my pride and my ego. I guess I'm feeling too proud of myself which is why some things can be so difficult to accept.
But what hurts me the most is the fact that the only reason I can think of (on why I'm doing this), the person whom I look up to, whom I try so hard to obey and perhaps to please, has given up on me. I expected encouragement but instead, what I received was a big better-quit-it advice.
It's probably my fault because I always complain on how difficult it is; that I feel like I'm becoming more stupid each day. But what else can he expect from me? He asks how I'm doing and I tell him the truth. He, more than anyone, knows how difficult it is. I expected encouragement and probably comfort. But then, I got nothing.
In case I'll heed his advice, I better make sure that I already have a passport in hand so I could get out of this place and leave. I won't be going home.
But then, that choice wouldn't be possible. This leaves me nothing but to face what I have to face.
It sucks.
It absolutely sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment