My classmates and I were betting on which school's going to top the BAR this year. Hani, Karla and I voted for UP. Jazzie, on the other hand, said "kahit sino basta hindi UP." My second bet was ADMU. Anyway, we could only guess.
The results were released by the Supreme Court this afternoon. I could hear law students cheer outside our classroom while we were taking our exam (public international law) this evening. Everyone was excited.
I didn't feel the same.
I missed my father.
For the past few years, Papadang would text me the results of the BAR as soon as he learned the results. He would say, "Babae na naman ang nag-top sa Bar" or "U.P. ang topnotcher sa Bar." It had always been his dream of seeing one of his children become a lawyer. He dreamed that I would be the first Maguindanaon woman who would top the BAR. It may sound impossible (considering my mental capacity. hehe. unless otherwise Willed by Allah swt). Nevertheless, it felt good to build those dreams with my father.
It saddened me tonight when once again the thought of not being able to realize those dreams sank in. Papadang wouldn't be there to guide me while I take the Bar years from now. He would no longer be there to join me in anticipating the exam results. He would no longer be there to celebrate with me in times of victory or to comfort me in case I'd get defeated. *sigh*
Anyway, neither UP nor ADMU topped the Bar this year. According to GMA News, it was a law student named Noel Malimban from the University of Cordillera who made it to number 1 with a grade of 87.6%.
I wonder if I'll pass the Bar... My performance during the exam this evening was a bluff. Total bluff. hehe
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